Hey! So i've been having similar issue recently but i think i'm making progress now. So when you calculate/measure the z offset, don't use paper!
there is a document on the duet wiki https://duet3d.dozuki.com/Wiki/Test_and_calibrate_the_Z_probe
They say: move the nozzle until its touching the bed and i assume they mean it and that's what I do. Then follow the calibration steps on the wiki. don't use paper and move the nozzle downuntil the gap (should look like no gap at all) is closed. then measure the distance and take it over into your z offset.
one more thing is... don't use the corner or your bed for homing z. I moved from the corner to home in the middle of my bed and it works much better with calibration.
Since then i really have a nice first layer!