I finally got it to work!
I reset the IR probe (that hangs off the carriage) to be 1mm above the bed. I placed a min zip tie under the probe to set the measured 1mm distance.
Then I followed the steps above. My trigger height was 2.99. There's the 3mm i was looking for!
So I will need to repeat the steps as I do have my nozzle too close now… so I bet the trigger height will be around 2.90.